I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
