It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize