I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
