It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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