ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
ttyl tear gas
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
