WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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