a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
