: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize