there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
