I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
