But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
