i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you made out with another girl for some wings
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