I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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