Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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