What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
