Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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