It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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