so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
