So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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