It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
