Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Jerry, you need to find god
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
