Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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