i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize