woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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