im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
