You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
