Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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