Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
