Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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