It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
