you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
