He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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