this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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