Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
