Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
