I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize