My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
