Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
