Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
