how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
