rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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