a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it was like eating out sand paper
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
