I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
