I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
