I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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