so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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