is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
