even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
