She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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