my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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