Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
