Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
