we have pet lesbian snakes
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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