Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize