Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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